Rescuer risk.jpgIn the Crosshairs

Some people are so intent on leaving their mark on the world that they don’t care if it’s a scar. Sharon Gagnon

Back in the spring it happened again.

The ambition and fears of a person I helped back, from a wilderness of their own making, resulted in a toxic experience. A further clout-round-the-lugs for my altruism, perhaps.

Well meaning minefield

Meaning well … do you ever put yourself in the crosshairs for a hurtful experience? The poem below shares move-on thoughts after an excruciating time.

I am, an older person, some might say generous and forgiving, coming to terms with being hurt.

Now, freed from the pain inflicted by an untrustworthy and spitefully ambitious, narcissist I’m moving on. And I reflect.

 

Like a circle in a spiral

When someone breaks your trust, don’t feel stupid for trusting them. You didn’t do anything wrong, they’re just an untrustworthy person. Sonya Parker

Sometimes our own repeating behaviour and thinking patterns make being-helpful decisions risky. Several times in my life I’ve been battered and bruised by a person I reached out to.

I don’t want to be hurt again. Yet, there are so many more times when I’ve been a positive, helpful assistant and made a difference. I’ll take my chances (please Lord, assist my discernment).

What did I do next?

I forgave the irrumator. Now for the  the moving on bit. Here’s the poem:

Some Pain … Some Gain

What part of my pain did I begin?

Sowing seeds of disaffection and betrayal, yesterday and before
Meaning well, yet stumbling blind against an abrading wall of ambition, malice
and spite
Fair retribution for my inattention to certain truths

The clock won’t turn back
Or, if it will, the skill isn’t mine to:

Dampen another’s callous fire
Alter hostile, bellicose deceit

Not for me a vengeance trail, nor a recurring cycle of bitterness. I choose to:

Accept
Forgive

And benefit from releasing the past
And thus free my compass for a new journey

Indifferent to manipulative pressure

I am open
I reflect
I learn

And so proceed with new awareness and optimism to life’s next chapter.

 

© Mac Logan