Alone with Covid

When you’re in the hospital, you are never alone with Covid. Yet you may feel isolated as people you’d like to drop by can’t visit because they are locked out at the hospital door.

There is a mobile phone, of course, and the internet. In reality, no matter how lonely you feel, most of us have a network of supportive cheerleaders pushing loving/caring energy and contact our way.

Does loneliness?

There is some negative and unhelpful reporting of the CoVid situation. Sensationalized waffle doesn’t exactly lift your spirits when you’re unwell. Factual reporting is helpful. If you enter the CoVid19 Red Zone as a patient, expecting negative things, such thoughts may become self-fulfilling. How many people quietly leave the Red Zone and return home – getting better? Lots. Turning on a positive attitude awakens a positive and strong attitude. Think well, be well. There is always a hand to hold.

Feeling alone with covid is natural at first

It’s like the first day at school when your parents leave. Of course, a trip into a challenging healthcare environment is very different. In my case, as well as being in unfamiliar surroundings, fever and disorientation didn’t help. But not for long as the endless patience and love of the professionals uplifted me.

Nothing truly scared me there, yet apprehension arose all the same. It’s amazing how a glass of water can ease the pressure. In my case, I spent a couple of days in a separate room while my samples were tested. For while I was truly alone with Covid. Then I moved to a ward where there were people in beds II could communicate with. I shared with a few. Taking showers on my own gave me a great sense of healing. Naturally enough, I saw some sad sights – I don’t dwell on them – I shared a friendly face with others.

A surround sound of doctors/nurses/cleaners/etc

One of the human factors available all day, every day, in the Red Zone is NHS people caring for you. Sure, some will stick needles in you and take your temperature, blood pressure and oxygen levels. Others bring food, help people (who need it) wash or use the loo, clean the premises and floors with disciplined thoroughness and generally do it all with a cheerful air. In reality, being surrounded by loving and caring professionals means you are never alone – even in the middle of the night. If you need to talk, they’ll give you time.

All alone with covid? Really?

And here is the point of these few words. You may feel:

1. Scared – but look around you – fear and unfamiliarity go hand in hand. Share with an NHS professional or other patients. You’ll find interest and sympathy and find yourself being there for others. The most significant step is, as someone said, daring to begin.
2. Alone – but look around you. Feeling lonely isn’t the same as being alone. Maybe you moan to your parents or partner. Perhaps you cry and upset them. Aloneness disappears when you: engage with others, smile at a sick person across the ward and get a smile back, and share a bit of yourself. Is it possible to be truly alone in a vibrant life-saving environment? I don’t think so.
3. Upset – it can be scary and upsetting. Share where you are. The NHS teams are aware of your emotional and support needs. We all have them. I remember waking up to a doctor who came in to see me. I fell out of a dark dream/nightmare. She said, ‘you’re a bit disorientated.’ I agreed and felt hugely supported by that recognition. Later a co-survivor and I swapped notes about dreams and delirium. This was tremendously helpful, learning that feelings of vulnerability and smallness are part of the journey, nothing more.

What I’m saying is a problem/fear/concern shared with a helpful interested person eases weight and helps you settle for the task of becoming well enough to go home. In the hospital, in the Red Zone, you’re never alone.

Love and support to anyone who reads these words.

© Mac Logan