Snake Oil, Who needs it?

“You, sir, are the scion of an ancestral procession of idiots stretching back to the Missing Link.” Letter from Mark Twain to a snake oil peddler.

So what’s on offer?

Lose your wrinkles, get your vitamins, take a tonic, scare bugs and slugs, de-mist mirrors and glass, hide cellulite, penetrating oil substitute … The only thing missing is the Fountain of Youth.

I hope the information is true but have to warn you I haven’t tested this … I’m hopeful.

And the cure is?

Cucumber … That’s right, cucumber:

Vitamin rich: Cucumbers are said to contain most of the vitamins you need. One cucumber contains: Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin  B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

Pick-me-up: Put down your energy drink and chew a Cucumber. B Vitamins and carbohydrates can provide that quick pick-me-up.

De-mister: Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a Cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, Spa-like fragrance.

Grub and Slug chaser: Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with aluminium to give off scent and makes them flee. Humans don’t smell it.

Digestion aid: Effective in driving toxins out of the digestive system. Daily consumption can be a remedy for chronic constipation.

Gout and Arthritis pain relief: vitamin A, B1, B6, C & D, Folate, Calcium, Magnesium, and Potassium. Mixed with carrot juice this can lower uric acid levels.

Cellulite cover-up: Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool?  Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up  the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works on wrinkles too.

Avert hangover and headache: Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B Vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

Reduce hunger: Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explorers for quick meals to thwart starvation.

Clean shoes: Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don’t have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

Fix squeaks: Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the  squeak is gone!

De-stress: Stressed out? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber react with the boiling water creating a soothing aroma. Breathe deep.

Freshen breath: Just  finished  a meal and don’t have a breath freshener? Press a slice of cucumber to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds – bad breath gone.

Stimulate hair growth:  contain silicon and sulphur and thus a regular intake of cucumber can help promote healthy hair growth. Mix cucumber juice with the juices of carrot, lettuce or spinach.

Clean taps and stainless steel: Looking for a ‘green’ way to clean your taps, sinks or stainless steel? Rub a slice on the surface you want to clean.

Erase ink: Using a Pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the Cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, try it on children’s crayons.

The source information came to me via a Canadian relative around 4-5 years ago, seems pretty universal now.